The new issue of Classic Rock is a bumper, 154-page end-of-year edition, featuring all of 2015’s greatest moments, a free 15-track CD featuring some of 2015’s greatest songs, and a free 2016 calendar featuring every single one of next year’s greatest days. Inside the issue you’ll find Jimmy Page, Mad Max, Dave Grohl, Lemmy, Kate Bush, Keith Richards, The Pope, Biters, Jeff Lynne, BB King, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Edgar Winter, Boston, Noddy Holder, and much more besides. Here’s what the issue taught us.
**1. Natives of Los Angeles love people who have Birmingham accents
**“People here think it’s quite exotic – ‘Ooh, I lurve the way you talk.’ You don’t hear anyone saying that in Birmingham,” reveals Brum-born ELO mainman Jeff Lynne, who has lived in Beverly Hills for the past 30 years. We agree. In Birmingham they’re too busy saying things like, “I don’t boil me cabbages twice,” “Pull yer biscuit straight” and “Will you stop chobbling your sweets”. They very rarely talk about accents, we’ve found.
**2. And for confirmation, look no further than Noddy Holder
**The Walsall wailer reveals: “My lyric sheet was written in Black Country dialect – the way we spoke and the way we used to write on toilet walls. We [Slade] got a lot of flak from the education authorities because of it.” Hmm, yes, no wonder it’s gone a bit black over Bill’s mother’s…
**3. Dave Grohl isn’t very keen on dragons. Or vampires
**“I f**king hate dragons. And I hate vampires, I think they’re stupid,” snarls the Foo Fighters mainman. “But I love Dio,” Grohl adds, “so there’s wiggle room in there.” But does he know that Dio’s famous on-stage mechanical dragon was not called Denzil, as is popularly believed, but Dean? Fear not, we’ll quiz Dave further next time to find out…
**4. Jimmy Page has never been able to put on Achilles Last Stand without thinking, “My God, I really was on fire there!”
**And neither has Robert Plant, judging by his agonised “Ow-wow-wah, ow-wow-wah” vocalising…
**5. The Pope has made prog rock album
**You can buy it on the Internet – but only if you use Paypal. (Geddit?!)
**6. Whenever The Biters are short of money, they have a bit of a whip-round
**That’s because Joey O’Brien, drummer with the Atlanta party-rockers, has a very interesting day job. “I do security for a dominatrix,” he reveals. “I sit in another room with a taser while she’s tying up dudes. I’ve got one of those baby walkie-talkie type things, and if she gets attacked I come out and taser the dude. I hear her screaming on the baby monitor.”
**7. Very ‘Eavy, Very Apple Crumble: Mick Box won’t be releasing a cookbook any time soon
**“All these cookery programmes drive me up the f**king wall, I can’t stand them,” complains the veteran Uriah Heep guitarist.
**8. Bruce Dickinson grew some lip spinach while he was recovering from cancer
**“Yeah, I sported a Baader-Meinhof-style moustache,” the Iron Maiden frontman confirms. “It was either the Baader-Meinhof gang or a bad porn star. Actually, I had my picture taken on a building site. I was wearing a hard hat, and I went, ‘Oh my God, it’s YMCA! It’s got to go!’ So I got rid of the moustache.” Longtime Dickinson devotees will recall that the singer, when known as Bruce Bruce, also sported a generous dose of upper-lip plumage while a member NWOBHM stalwarts Samson. (We’ve got all the face-furniture facts at our fingertips, here at Classic Rock.)
**9. Glenn Danzig is going to release a Danzig Sings Elvis record
**Um, forgive us… but didn’t he originally do this with Mother in 1988 – and hasn’t he been doing it ever since?
**10. Slipknot/Stone Sour singer Corey Taylor reckons Sylvester McCoy is the fifth best Doctor Who
**Yep, and the Zarbi* are the best villains. Sheesh!
*Men who shuffled about the studio with hilarious ant costumes strapped to their backs.
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