Modern Baseball frontman Brendan Lukens has discussed his bipolar disorder in new documentary.
While singer and guitarist Jacob Ewald opens up about the loss of his grandfather in mini documentary Tripping In The Dark, frontman Brendan Lukens admits that nightly binge-drinking and growing apart from the rest of the band after last year’s tour with Say Anything left him feeling suicidal.
He says: “I love my privacy and I always have, but I unknowingly trained myself to only get to the dark, lowest points when I’m by myself. After that I was just concealing my illness from everyone. I didn’t want others to know.
“After the Say Anything tour we split ways like we always do, but for whatever reason I thought they abandoned me. That kind of pushed me back into my manic bipolar state.
“It wasn’t uncommon for a very simple thing to be a trigger for me. Just us parting ways was enough for me to drink a bottle of whisky the following night.
“You do that 10 days in a row, then you don’t have to think about going on the roof – it just sort of happens.”
In the film, which can be viewed below, Lukens tells how he confided in friends and family, sought treatment and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
He adds: “They saved my life. It’s not a joke to play around with depression or mental health. it’s not wrong to seek or receive help. The last few months have meant a lot and it’s changed the way I look after myself and write.
“We feel now with Holy Ghost that we’ve written the most open and honest songs to date. We’re hoping that with opening our personal lives up to so many people, that our fans can open up to everyone in their lives.”
The band pulled the plug on their dates in the UK and Australia last year while Lukens took time out to deal with mental health and substance abuse issues.
Modern Baseball Holy Ghost tracklist
- Holy Ghost
- Wedding Singer
- Note to Self
- Coding These to Lukens
- Breathing in Stereo
- Apple Cider I Don’t Mind
- What If…
- Just Another Face
Modern Baseball tour 2016
Apr 17: Amsterdam The Sugar Factory, Netherlands
Apr 18: Hamburg Nochtspeicher, Germany
Apr 19: Berlin Cassiopeia, Germany
Apr 20: Cologne Blue Shell, Germany
Apr 22: Brighton Sticky Mikes Frog Bar, UK
Apr 23: Norwich Owl Sanctuary, UK
Apr 24: Huddersfield The Parish, UK
Apr 26: Glasgow Stereo, UK
Apr 27: Liverpool Studio 2, UK
Apr 28: Derby The Venue, UK
Apr 30: Groezrock Festival, Belgium
May 25: Nashville Exit/In, TN
May 27: Houston House of Blues, TX
May 28: Austin Emo’s, TX
May 29: Dallas Gas Monkey, TX
May 31: Phoenix Pressroom, AZ
Jun 01: San Diego House Of Blues, CA
Jun 02: Santa Ana Observatory, CA
Jun 03: Pomona The Glass House, CA
Jun 04: Los Angeles The Echoplex, CA
Jun 05: San Francisco The Fillmore, CA
Jun 07: Portland Hawthorne Theater, OR
Jun 08: Seattle Showbox, WA
Jun 10: Salt Lake City The Complex, UT
Jun 11: Denver The Summit, CO
Jun 12: Lawrence Granada, KS
Jun 14: Minneapolis Mill City Nights, MN
Jun 15: Milwaukee The Rave, WI
Jun 16: St. Louis Ready Room, MO
Jun 17: Cincinnati Bogarts, OH
Jun 18: Cleveland Agora Theater, OH
Jun 19: Toronto The Opera House, ON
Jun 21: Pontiac The Crofoot, MI
Jun 22: Pittsburgh Altar Bar, PA
Jun 23: Boston House Of Blues, MA
Jun 24: New York Irving Plaza, NY
Jun 25: New York Irving Plaza, NY
Jun 26: Philadelphia The Fillmore, PA
Jun 28: Baltimore Baltimore Soundstage, MD
Jun 29: Richmond Broadberry, VA