Have you always wanted to dance to rock but weren't sure how? This YouTube video will change your life, once you've stopped cringing
Loretta, Ava and Anthony have the moves which will earn you respect in the pit and beyond
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If you're the sort of person who stands motionless at a rock or metal show because you move like you're being attacked by a swarm of malevolent wasps, then this YouTube video is for you.
Way back in the mists of time (2013) Howcast's Loretta, Ava and Anthony offered a helping hand for those who felt self-conscious when it came to physical self-expression in the pit or on the sticky floor of a rock club.
With the proliferation of dance-themed TV shows – Strictly Come Dancing, Dance Monsters, Dancing with the Stars – the social pressure to have some sweet moves in your pocket is still keenly felt a decade on.
"Today, we're going to teach you how to dance to rock music," says Loretta. "So the basic thing that you want to do when you're listening to rock, if you're at a concert, if you're at a club or anything, is basically, just to feel the beat in your attitude, right? So when you're in it, what do we all do when we hear rock music?"
Anyone? That's right. Raise your arms in the air like you've found yourself in the middle of a bank robbery. But remember that staying stock-still or moving your arms like those wavy car dealership forecourt things will mark you out as some sort of amateur or worse yet, a square.
"Another thing you guys want to keep in mind, is that you don't want to just wave your arms around like you don't care," says Anthony, who moves like a mosh god. "But if you stay on beat and really feel the pulse, people around you are going to pick up on that, and you're going to look like a cool guy or girl."
While we have no scientific data to back up these claims, it must work. It has to work. It must.
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This two-minute video could just change your life. You can thank us later.
Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty-six years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic Rock, Metal Hammer, Prog, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.

