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Rick Wakeman's Caped Crusades: Communication Breakdown

Contacting people was so much simpler in the good old days, writes Rick with his favourite pen…

Once upon a time we wrote letters to each other. It took a couple of minutes to read and digest the contents and then after a few more days, if required, we would reply in the same way. It was such a simple and non time-consuming exercise which had worked for centuries. Let me give you an example. This would be a typical letter from someone you work with.

“Hi John,

Hope you are well. I was just wondering if you fancied coming out for a drink sometime and chew over a few ideas.

Best wishes, Terry.”

John would reply, they would meet up and all would be well.

Then some complete twat came up with emailing and so now the correspondence goes something like this…

Hi John, what’s your diary like over the next few days? Terry.

(Then two minutes later, Terry would send

a follow-up email.)

Hi John, did you get the email I sent a few minutes ago? Terry.

(Then three minutes later… another one.)

Hi John, where are you? Why aren’t you replying to my emails? Terry.

(Then finally John replies.)

Hi Terry, sorry about that, I was having a wazz. Diary not looking too bad. What did you have in mind? John.

Hi John, hope you had a successful wazz. As you hadn’t replied for more than 10 minutes I thought perhaps it was a number two… lol. Terry.

Hi Terry, no mate… number twos are first thing in the morning. Why exactly are you emailing me? John.

_Hi John, fancy coming out for

a drink? Terry._

Hi Terry, when were you thinking of having this drink? John.

Hi John, how does tomorrow evening sound? Terry.

Hi Terry, I can’t do tomorrow, there’s a sales meeting at 6.30. John.

Hi John, you’re right. I’d forgotten about that. I’m at that too. Terry.

Hi Terry, what about this Thursday? John.

Hi John, can’t do Thursday. It’s that time of the month for the missus and I have to lock the cutlery drawer. Terry.

Hi Terry, perhaps sometime next week? John.

Hi John, yeah okay. I’ll have another look at the diary. You busy at the moment? Terry.

Hi Terry. Manic, haven’t stopped all morning. Mainly emails. John.

Hi John, me too. Terry.

Terry, fancy a coffee now? I’ll get them, John.

Hi John, that would be great. Shall I meet you somewhere? Terry.

Hi Terry, no need. You’re at the desk next to mine so I’ll bring it to you. John.

Hi John, thanks. Grab us a biscuit as well Terry.

Hi Terry, will do. John.

Need I say more?