Procrastination. We’ve all done it. Whether it’s some work at home, household chores or simply putting on a pair of trousers, everyone will always attempt to find something more interesting to do. It could be organising your socks in order of sadness or seeing how long you can watch daytime television without leaving the sofa.
Metallica released Death Magnetic in 2008. In the last eight years, they’ve proved to be the masters of procrastination. While their millions of fans are waiting for some new music to wash away the memory of Lulu, their creative misfire with the late Lou Reed, the four have found crafty ways of appearing busy while avoiding the pressing matters at hand.
Here then, are 11 things they’ve chosen to do rather than finish that damn album already…
Play in a plastic igloo
In December 2013, Metallica travelled almost 8000 miles away from the studio to the South Shetland Islands of Antarctica to a play a gig to a handful of people. That’s right, they’d rather visit one of the most inhospitable parts of the world than sit around in a fancy studio with leather armchairs and an endless supply of coffee. In the video below, you can almost see an incredulous polar bear mouth the word ‘Why?’ to the camera. We said almost, so please don’t look for it.
Shout at classical pianists
On January 26, 2014, Metallica performed a chaotic version of One with classical pianist Lang Lang at the 56th Grammys. It was here that frontman James Hetfield appeared to develop a sudden fear of grand pianos.
Perform the national anthem at a San Francisco Giants game
A few months later after their Grammys appearance, James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett appeared at San Francisco Giants’ AT&T Park to perform the National Anthem in front of fans of peanuts, beer and macho rounders.
Stand next to a rubbish shark
A new year, no new album. On January 21, 2015, Metallica visited San Jose Sharks’ SAP Center for a special Metallica-themed night. There, they posed for photos with the team’s longtime mascot S.J. Sharkie and pushed any thoughts of work deep into the recesses of their mind. Dunno where Kirk went. That might be him on the right, actually.
Curate a horror festival
We all know that Kirk loves horror. He published a book Too Much Horror Business in 2012 and last April, hosted his very own Fear Fest Evil. He even renamed himself Kirk Von Hammett to give it that old school horror flavour. Should have been Kirk Von No New Album Yet, more like. Anyone?
Jam on a dusty motocross track
That summer, Metallica performed a set at the X Games in Austin, Texas. But who’s this rocking out on a dirty road in front of some motorcycle couriers? It’s Hetfield and Hammett, who at this point, have performed The Star-Spangled Banner more times than they’ve played Ronnie. Must be like rock star catnip.
Stand outside of their old house and hang out with El Cerrito’s mayor
On April 16, 2016, the band found themselves absolutely nowhere near a recording studio as they were ambassadors for Record Store Day 2016. They performed a gig at the Rasputin shop in Berkeley, then hot-footed it to their old digs at 3132 Carlson Boulevard, El Cerrito to hang out with the mayor and get some free T-shirts. James Hetfield was so excited to receive a fluorescent green shirt that he folded it up and put it on an old sofa.
Stand on one leg
Later that month, Lars Ulrich flew to New York to induct Deep Purple into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. There, he took time to show the gathered press what he might look like if he was having his boots polished. We do, however, appreciate the colour of Lars’ jacket for the occasion. Don’t think we didn’t notice.
Perform the national anthem at another San Francisco Giants game
Want another picture of Hetfield and Hammett playing The Star-Spangled Banner again? Here, fill your boots.
Muck about during a fashion shoot and make a video about it
It was revealed last week that Metallica had taken part in a fashion shoot for Italian menswear company Brioni. Perfect threads for those who like to procrastinate with uncommon elan.
Be the same height as Hillary Clinton
On July 2, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had spent four hours being interviewed by the FBI about emails she’d sent while she was Secretary Of State. That evening, she blew off some steam by going to see the musical Hamilton on New York’s Broadway and bumped into Lars. We expect she demanded to how the new album was coming along, because we know Hillary is as keen as anyone else to hear something new. Anything. Literally anything.
Metallica’s new album will be definitely released at a date in the future.