The Rock 'n' Roll Gospels

Ozzy Osbourne posed in a studio holding a large cross recreating the cover shot of the Blizzard Of Ozz album session
Ozzy Osbourne: hates lawnmowers
(Image: © Fin Costello\/Redferns)

There are four gospels in the New Testament. Given the price of bibles these days, that doesn’t offer much value for money – and if we’re being honest, it could do with being updated now and then.

But, in the pages of Classic Rock and Metal Hammer however, there’s often two of ‘em a month, which is much more like it – and you can read them all on TeamRock+.

Here then, are the gospels according to Gene Simmons, Michael Starr, Lzzy Hale, Dee Snider, Ozzy Osbourne, Scott Ian, Slash and Dani Filth. Amen to that.

Gene Simmons on… drugs
“I’m not against marijuana for pain relief but on Planet Gene, drugs would be banned. Not because I don’t want you to get high, because that would be your prerogative, but when you become an addict and getting a fix is all that matters, you are a parasite on society. Let’s create those gulags way up in the cold north someplace, where drug addicts who can’t get clean are sent. If you freeze your arse off, you’ll get straight very fast.”

The Gospel According To Gene Simmons

Michael Starr on… celebrity
“A lot of people think I might be Bret Michaels. They’re like, ‘Hey, excuse me, are you Bret Michaels?’ I’m like, ‘No, you fuck!’ But it’s flattery.”

The Gospel According To Steel Panther's Michael Starr

Lzzy Hale on… being a role model
“At first, I was really nervous that I had to watch what I say, watch what I do, watch what pictures I put out… then I kinda said, ‘Fuck it’, and unapologetically started being myself, and in turn got more people that think I’m a role model now.

The Gospel according to Lzzy Hale

Dee Snider on… politics
“It’s often suggested that I should run for president. But I would be a complete failure. I’m too fair, honourable, loyal, intelligent and truthful to be a politician. Those are five words that don’t fit the job description. I could never survive in that world.”

The gospel according to Dee Snider

Ozzy Osbourne on… household appliances
“I don’t like the sound of vacuum cleaners. That drives me nuts when I’m in a hotel. Flymos as well, they piss me off.”

The Gospel According To Ozzy Osbourne

Scott Ian on… being a zombie
“Being a zombie on The Walking Dead was great. I hadn’t planned on it, it just happened. It was amazing to get to be made up by Greg Nicotero and his team and to get to be a part of that. I may get the chance to do it again – fingers crossed. It’s much harder now that it’s the biggest show on television. I may get to go hang out and watch them shoot.”

The Gospel According To Scott Ian

Slash on… Guns N’ Roses
“I thought it would be a sort of cool, you know, underground, cult, hard rock band that had a certain amount of followers and steadily stayed at that level indefinitely. I certainly never saw it becoming as big as it did. It never even occurred to me.”

The Gospel According To Slash

Dani Filth on… being scary
“In the early days, we were feared as a band – especially on the live circuit, because we’d go out and get pissed and cause complete mayhem, partying ourselves stupid and breaking stuff. That air of revulsion, degeneracy and decadence followed us around for years after we stopped doing it. People still say, ‘Ooh, Cradle are coming to town! Lock the liquor cabinet! Hide everything!’ But I’m actually teetotal now. I know, it’s bizarre.”

The Gospel According To Dani Filth

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