Who are Patchwork? The whole world is trying to guess the identity of the mystery artist playing a secret show at Glastonbury festival this weekend

When the full line-up for this weekend's Glastonbury festival was announced at the start of the month, it didn't take long for eagle-eyed music fans to spot that a previously unknown artist named Patchwork had a suspiciously high profile slot on the site's Pyramid Stage on the evening of Saturday, June 28, playing at 6:15pm, after former Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman John Fogerty and before south London R&B superstar Raye.

It's not unusual for the festival to host artists who keep their true identity hidden until the 11th hour - just two years ago the fact that Foo Fighters would be playing the festival billed as The Churnups was the world's worst-kept secret - but with festival-goers already pitching their tents on Worthy Farm, the fact that no-one has yet officially cracked the identity of this year's biggest mystery guess is causing all manner of feverish guesswork.

In recent weeks, the smart money was being placed on Patchwork being revealed as either Pulp, or Haim.

Jarvis Cocker's Btitpop misfits are a true band of the people, Glastonbury legends thanks to their 1995 headline performance, and their recent return with More, their first new album in 24 years has been rapturously received. Given that the band had a six-date arena tour booked for June this year, it would make sense that they wouldn't wish to hurt their own ticket sales by simultaneously announcing their presence on this year's Glasto bill, plus they have previous form when it comes to secret shows, having made a 'surprise' appearance on the festival's Park stage back in 2011.

However, members of the band have sought to quash the rumours in recent weeks, with keyboard player Candida Doyle telling BBC 6 Music that the Sheffield group "wanted to" to play, but but that festival bookers "weren’t interested". Jarvis Cocker, meanwhile, has stated that the band would only be at Glastonbury this weekend in a "life or death situation".

The case for Haim playing seemed more logical, to some. Online sleuths discovered that there's a book titled Patchwork written by one Susan Haim, and concluded that this must mean that the mystery band are Este, Danielle, and Alana Haim. The LA band released a new album, I Quit, last week, and they're booked to play a one-off British show at Dreamland Margate on Friday, June 27, meaning that they would, theoretically, be free on the 28th. Speaking to Radio 2 DJ Jo Whiley recently, the sisters admitted that they would be "in the area" this weekend, but then expressed their love for the festival's Park Stage..,. which happens to have a TBA slot on Saturday night too.

Hmmmm...

The waters have also been muddied this week by a cryptic online post by US pop super star Chappell Roan.

The star has already performed at a number of European festivals this summer, but has a gap in her touring schedule this coming weekend. So when the Missouri-born star posted a throwback photograph of herself as a child holding a patchwork blanket, the internet had a mini-meltdown, as the internet does. Some observers also pointed out that the singer wore a patchwork suit at this year's Met Gala.

The plot thickens.

Dave Grohl's presence in the UK has also muddied the waters. The Foo Fighters frontman made a surprise appearance onstage with his old friend Kim Deal in London last week to perform Pixies classic Gigantic, leading to speculation as to whether a return to Glastonbury might also be on the cards. Given that the Foos recently sacked drummer Josh Freese, debuting a new line-up at Worthy Farm would be a bold move, but what if Patchwork is a coded reference for a (partial) Nirvana reformation, or indeed for a one-off 'patched together' rock supergroup? Has anyone checked on the whereabouts of Josh Homme, Brian May and Lars Ulrich?

Other names have been mentioned in regards to Patchwork. Lewis Capaldi. Mumford and Sons. Oasis. Robbie Williams. Dying Fetus. Okay, that last one is a lie, but forgive us, our heads are spinning at this point...

Frankly, Saturday evening can't come soon enough.

And if you can't be at Glastonbury this weekend, here's how you can watch all the excitement unfold from the comfort of your own home.