Who the hell are Iceman Thesis?

We've been sent a package and have no idea what to make of it.

All the evidence we can go off is that they can write and speak English and are called Iceman Thesis. And they love to swear.

There’s also a CD – a Maxell CD-R to be precise – with one song on it apparently called Return To Harmony. We stuck it in the computer and iTunes couldn’t find a match for it. iTunes tried to guess what it was with bands like Peanut Butter Wolf, Voodoo Six and Electric Light Orchestra… which didn’t help. So we had to give it a listen.

It’s British and it’s metalcorey, but strays further towards the hardcore element. Think along the lines of Cancer Bats and The Ghost Of A Thousand.

Then the next thing you know they’ve been added to the Download festival line-up. Twice.

Opening two stages on the same day must be impossible, so are there two bands under the same name Iceman Thesis? It’s all getting too confusing. We searched on Facebook (because we’re well modern) and couldn’t find a profile for them but they have a cryptic Twitter page.

Are you in Iceman Thesis? If so, why did you swear at us and how the shit are you going to play two stages at the same time?


Luke Morton joined Metal Hammer as Online Editor in 2014, having previously worked as News Editor at popular (but now sadly defunct) alternative lifestyle magazine, Front. As well as helming the Metal Hammer website for the four years that followed, Luke also helped relaunch the Metal Hammer podcast in early 2018, producing, scripting and presenting the relaunched show during its early days. He also wrote regular features for the magazine, including a 2018 cover feature for his very favourite band in the world, Slipknot, discussing their turbulent 2008 album, All Hope Is Gone.