So begins a very silly sketch on Seattle-area TV comedy show Almost Live!, broadcast on NBC affiliate KING in 1994, which sees Nirvana drummer (now Foo Fighters frontman) Dave Grohl, Soundgarden guitarist Kim Thayil and Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready attempt to pass on their shared wisdom as seasoned rock gods to some hapless but enthusiastic wannabes at their Rock Star Fantasy Camp.
Essential lessons at said establishment, as documented in the clip, include Guitar Smashing 101, fire breathing, drum stick twirling, which poses to throw for a heavy metal magazine cover shoot, and the correct way to enquire if audience members in Cleveland might be "ready to party". Students are also mentored in the art of getting royally fucked up by a female tutor who, presumably accidentally, bears more than a passing resemblance to Courtney Love,
Watch the foolishness unfold below:
The idea of teaching rock star (mis) behaviour at a camp may have seemed hilarious to grunge musicians in 1994, but in true 'life imitates art' fashion, an actual Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy Camp launched just three years later. And who could be found teaching the rock star hopefuls of tomorrow tasty riffs at a Sound Of Seattle-themed course at the most recent Rock 'N' Rock Fantasy Camp staging? Why, none other than Soundgarden's Kim Thayil and Alice In Chains guitarist Jerry Cantrell.
Who's laughing now?
Watch Thayil rock out to Slaves and Bulldozers below.