Listen to King Crimson's 21st Century Schizoid Man punctuated by Robert Fripp shouting "Bollocks!"

In The Court Of The Crimson King cover
(Image credit: Island Records)

Entertainment legends Robert Fripp and Toyah Willcox may have become the nation's most unlikely sweethearts with their Sunday Lockdown Lunch performances, but it turns out there's much more to the duo than frisky versions of other peoples' songs.

King Crimson founder Fripp and post-punk pioneer Willcox are also the resident hosts on the YouTube series Toyah & Robert's Agony Aunts, which finds the "deeply unqualified" pair addressing their audience's "social, emotional and music tuning predicaments."

The "show" is prefaced by a rather jaunty theme tune – a classical march interrupted by Fripp bellowing the word "bollocks" – and a mysterious web user, working under the the pseudonym "Blong Cromson", has isolated Fripp's vocal part and turned it into deeply peculiar remix of King Crimson's 1969 classic 21st Century Schizoid Man.

Now titled 21st Century Schizoid Bollocks, the remix takes Greg Lake's opening lines and loops them over and over again, the end of every verse punctuated by Fripp shouting "bollocks!" It doesn't even get to the main riff. For 22 brain-bursting minutes.

"This is King Crimson's 21st Century Schizoid Man," admits Blong, "reimagined to include a rare vocal contribution from the genius Robert Fripp. And extended to 22 minutes in length for absolutely no reason whatsoever."

You can hear 21st Century Schizoid Bollocks below. After which, you'll probably want to un-hear it. 

Fraser Lewry

Online Editor at Louder/Classic Rock magazine since 2014. 38 years in music industry, online for 25. Also bylines for: Metal Hammer, Prog Magazine, The Word Magazine, The Guardian, The New Statesman, Saga, Music365. Former Head of Music at Xfm Radio, A&R at Fiction Records, early blogger, ex-roadie, published author. Once appeared in a Cure video dressed as a cowboy, and thinks any situation can be improved by the introduction of cats. Favourite Serbian trumpeter: Dejan Petrović.