Ex Journey drummer Deen Castronovo says he can’t blame drugs for the domestic violence that put him in jail, lost him his relationship, and got him fired from Journey.
Last month he was sentenced to four years’ probation for an assault on his fiancee in July that took place after a 24-day methamphetamine binge.
This week he revealed the band had dismissed him while he was in rehab – but he insisted they did it out of love and not spite. He also said his ex-fiancee had saved his life by calling the police on him.
Now Castronovo tells the Statesman Journal: “I was a verbally abusive man. I was a physically abusive man. I abused her. It was wrong. I’m taking responsibility.
“I’ve realised that domestic violence is really a choice, and it is calculated. The drugs and alcohol exacerbated it immensely – but there’s no excuse for what I did.
“I deal with it every day. It does come into my head every day, and it’s deeper than regret or remorse.”
He reflects: “You don’t want to be 51 and in your fifth stint of treatment, and you’ve lost everything.
“The only time I felt self-worth was playing the drums. I used to live for cars, touring, the big houses. Meaningless crap – I’m happier now.”
Castronovo has voluntarily signed up for an intensive analysis programme that includes random urine tests and four breath tests a day. “If I screw up, my probation officer will know,” he says.
“I will never downplay or minimise what I did. But I have to forgive myself. It doesn’t have to be a lifetime patterns. People can change.”
Help is available for victims of domestic violence in every country of the world.