We have no idea what Slipknot's new video is about

Slipknot have posted a video for their song XIX, taken from their 2014 album, ‘.5: The Gray Chapter’. We watched it. Then again. Then a few more times. Then we started taking notes in an attempt to make some sense of it all…

The opening shot is of a tree trembling in the breeze.

A shot of a simple coffin on the grass is replaced by an aerial view of the tree. It looks like the Whomping Willow from that Harry Potter film, actually. Can’t remember which. The one with the flying car.

Someone’s set the coffin on fire. A petty act of arson or a DIY cremation?

A black hearse rolls into view.

The hearse drives slowly across the grass. The driver is clearly a maverick – or lost.

Did anyone else accidentally see the last episode of Six Feet Under when they’d been meaning to watch it for ages?

Where we're going, we don't need roads...

Where we're going, we don't need roads...

There’s tire tracks all around the tree. They’re definitely lost. The cemetery isn’t here, mate.

They’re backing up to the coffin. Perhaps they’re here to collect the box for the resident’s final journey. That makes sense now. Getting a bit weirded out, to be honest.

Two women wrapped in lace veils are in the front seats of the car. Who the hell are they? That veil would impair a driver’s vision. It’s the sort of thing my driving instruction would have a moan about. No wonder they’re driving about willy nilly.

Our veiled protagonists step out of the car, to reveal that they’re wrapped in the smallest of sheets. It’s probably freezing.

That’s not Lady Gaga, is it? She’s been going on about metal recently.

Corey starts to sing. It’s about time. It’s been fairly ominous up until now. But with bagpipes.

They’ll never lift that coffin. I’ve seen four men struggle to lift a roll of carpet.

Lady Gaga, plus one, mate

Lady Gaga, plus one, mate

We would never do that in front of the deceased, to be honest.

Ah, it’s a lady-reboot of sword-swishing hero, Zorro.

This coffin’s wood clearly has a good finish.

What’s in the box? Seriously. What’s happening. This is getting really creepy.

No idea what’s happening here.

Told you it was cold.

A thick gold chain is revealed. This does not connect the storyline at all.

Has anyone else had a bath in a river? Note the lack of soap.

A fiery coffin. A metaphor for Hell, probably.

A fiery coffin. A metaphor for Hell, probably.

The flowers have faded into a shot of a flaming coffin. A metaphor for wet flowers and fire or something.

The coffin is on fire. It’s really going. That wood lacquer is probably not helping.

The flowers float upon the water. Camera fades. Fin.

Where’s the band?

What just happened?

THE VERDICT: Not a clue.

Slipknot tour the UK in February. Click here for details.

Simon Young

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.