Robert Fripp says he's launching an OnlyFans account

Robert Fripp sitting naked on some stairs with a guitar

(Image credit: Robert Fripp)

April Fool's Day has come and gone, and while fake news is now a 24/7, 365-day business, we take our hats off to those who restrict their fakery to the one day of the year when we're expecting it.

So congratulations to Nickelback, who posted that the only physical copies of the band's documentary Nickelback: Hate to Love had been stolen from the back of their van. And to alt-rock icons Wilco, who revealed that their A Ghost Is Born album is to be reissued as a 30-LP "Duper Deluxe" edition packaged in an egg-shaped box. And to Christian metal legends Stryper, who announced plans to shave their heads, move to Tibet and "go into hiding as monks".

But most of all, we'd like to salute the great Robert Fripp, who's spent the last few years pranking serious-minded King Crimson fans with his delightful Sunday Lunch performances. This year Fripp celebrated April Fool's Day by launching an account at OnlyFans, which, for the uninitiated, is a subscription service used to receive content from performers who are primarily sex workers and adult entertainers.

Fripp, it's fair to say, goes all-in, appearing naked on a stairway, legs provocatively splayed, his modestly preserved only by a guitar whose neck he fingers in a fashion that's certainly more suggestive than it was on In the Wake Of Poseidon back in 1970.

"Subscribe now for exclusive, jaw-dropping content you never knew you needed..." advises Fripp, although, tragically, the OnlyFans page in question does not exist, denying followers further opportunities to enjoy Fripp's more sensual side.

In slightly more normal news, Robert Fripp and Toyah Willcox celebrated Easter by dressing up as rabbits and performing a Sunday Lunch cover of Roadkill, originally released in 2022 by Los Angeles rockers Starcrawler.

Artists

Online Editor at Louder/Classic Rock magazine since 2014. 40 years in music industry, online for 27. Also bylines for: Metal Hammer, Prog Magazine, The Word Magazine, The Guardian, The New Statesman, Saga, Music365. Former Head of Music at Xfm Radio, A&R at Fiction Records, early blogger, ex-roadie, published author. Once appeared in a Cure video dressed as a cowboy, and thinks any situation can be improved by the introduction of cats. Favourite Serbian trumpeter: Dejan Petrović.