If you ever wanted to see a Grammy Award-winning heavy metal band portray a collective of violent cinema snacks in a movie, then it’s time to check yourself out of that asylum because Mastodon are well ahead of you. Back in 2007, the Atlanta-based sludge nasties starred in the opening of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters. And, in the process, they became befitting of the movie’s batshit title, delivering an incredibly insane display of extreme metal brutality.
The scene is a parody of that classic American “let’s all go to the lobby” sequence, where anthropomorphic food walks on-screen and sings a song about buying some (likely overpriced) sustenance at the concessions stand. However, in this version, the happy-go-lucky foodstuffs are interrupted by four, more gruff-looking items wielding microphones, guitars and drumsticks. One headbutt from a vocalist gumdrop later (yes, really), the whole thing descends to a sonic hell, and the Troy Sanders-voiced singer explains the unwritten rules of movie-watching.
“Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly!” he snarls. “Be considerate to others or I will bite your torso and give you a disease!” Drummer and co-frontman Brann Dailor joins in with a surprisingly brilliant King Diamond falsetto, squealing, “Your money is now our money and we will spend it on drugs!”
Ultimately, this is a scene that has absolutely no effect on anything. It ends as abruptly as it started and none of it is revisited or acknowledged during the rest of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force story, which is about evil exercise equipment, or something. However, this opening has since gone down as the undisputed best part of the movie. “There are no words to describe how awesome this is,” the top comment on the YouTube video reads – and we 100% agree.