Pokemon Go has gripped the world in a crazed desire to catch the rarest, more powerful pocket monsters. As usual there are some people who have gleefully abandoned common sense in order to fill their Pokedex and win, whatever the cost.
We’ve not yet had any (confirmed) deaths thanks to the game, but with some of the epic levels of idiocy on display from players all over the world, it looks like it’s just a matter of time before the game becomes more dangerous than Grand Theft Auto, Bath Salts or sticking fireworks up your butt.
Here are five stories from around the world to reassure you that you’re probably normal.
5.Driver hits a police car in Baltimore while playing Pokemon Go
In one of the dumbest displays of Pokemon hunting so far a driver crashed into a parked police car in Baltimore on July the 18th. As the video shows the car bounced off the parked police car and came to a halt further down the street prompting the officers, who weren’t in their vehicle, to take off down the road following the offending vehicle.
Luckily no-one was injured but the first thing the driver said to the officers was to admit he’d been playing Pokemon Go while at the wheel.
4.Two guys fall between 50 and 90 feet off a cliff hunting Pokemon
In a sure fire contender for the 2016 Darwin awards , On July the 13th, while hunting Pokemon in Encinitas, California, two guys in their early 20s fell off a cliff. One man was found three quarters of the way down the 90ft cliff, with his friend at the bottom, by firefighters who attended the scene. Both had apparently crossed a fence bearing signs saying, “No Tresspassing” and, “Do Not Cross”. Neither were charged with tresspassing.
3.Two teens shot at while playing Pokemon Go at 1.30 in the morning
In a less self-inflicted, but still verifiably dumb move in a country where gun ownership and home protection are enthusiastically practised, two teenagers, aged 19 and 16, were shot at by a homeowner in the Palm Coast area of Flagler County, Florida on the 16th of July. The homeowner heard noises outside his house at 1.30am. He saw a car parked outside his house with its brake lights on so he grabbed his gun and went outside to investigate. The householder claims he heard a voice say, “Did you get anything?” prompting him to raise his gun and tell the teens not to move. The car then sped off, encouraging the gun-toting homeowner to fire several shots at it.
Thankfully no-one was injured although the 19-year-old had to explain to his mother why the car had bullet holes and a flat tyre when she got up in the morning.
2.Irishman jumps into traffic to catch a Pokemon
On July 21st, over in County Down, Northern Island, police stated on Facebook that they had received reports of a man jumping into traffic on the A2 main road near Holywood. The update stated: “I don’t care how rare the Pokemon is, it’s not worth your life. Pickachu would be ashamed.” A neighbouring Police station in Craigavon summed it up with the hashtags: #DoubleFacePalm and #NotEnoughPalms. Presumably because they’d get in trouble for #FeckingIdiot.
1.Bosnian demining charity warns of the dangers of Pokemon hunting in minefields
This one sounds so ridiculous it just couldn’t be true. Right? However Bosnian LAND MINE REMOVAL charity Posavina bez mina has issued a warning (translated by the BBC) to budding Pokemon hunters on the dangers of venturing into dangerous areas of the country to catch rarities like the Charizard.
In Bosnia around 120,000 LAND MINES are still undiscovered, covering around 2% of the country’s landmass. That’s actual land mines, which were created specifically to kill and maim the unwary. Luckily there’s no reports of people losing lives, or limbs in their quest for new Pokemon, but Jesus Christ people, please consider your local conditions before heading out hunting.
Team Rock(et) are big fans of Pokemon Go, but it’s hard not to laugh at some of the unbelievable stupidity the game is causing (LAND MINES FOR GOD’S SAKE!) Ash managed to traverse the length and breadth of Japan without suffering more than embarrassment, losing his hat and a bruised Weedle.
It was Meowth who said “I’m totally unprepared to deal with life’s realities.” You’re not alone, big guy.