Nine Situations When Only Rammstein's Music Will Do

Rammstein's Till Lindemann at Download Festival in 2016
(Image credit: Kevin Nixon)

The pyro smoke from last night’s Rammstein’s Download performance still hangs heavy in the Derbyshire skies.

The reasons for their repeated visits to the Donington festival are numerous: the retina-frying light show, the sight of Till Lindemann wrapping himself in explosive charges and the Neue Deutsche Härte stomp of their thigh-pounding setlist. Plus, everyone loves loud fucking explosions.

But one important question was raised during their set – when do people actually listen to Rammstein? We can’t imagine anyone settling in to their favourite chair, pouring a glass of wine and smiling with anticipation as the needle drops onto the first side of Herzeleid.

You need to enjoy their music in outrageous settings and unlikely scenarios. Their body of work demands it.

Here are nine situations where only Rammstein’s music will do…

  1. Du Hast when you’re pounding a double-horned anvil in a smoky factory and a shower of sparks appears for no reason.
  2. Feuer frei! when you’re participating in a dimly-lit midnight fight club in a mystery location in the furthest reaches of town.
  3. Liebe ist für alle da when you’ve accidentally stumbled into a Berlin sex club called Das Fist and they need a industrial metal DJ for their theme night.
  4. Links 2-3-4 when you’re at the wheel of a German-made monster truck and crushing everything in your path on the way to buy some bratwurst and dark pumpernickel. Both will remain untouched and your face will appear on the news.
  5. Mann Gegen Mann when you’ve smothered yourself in oil and feel the need to practice your grappling techniques with like-minded Graeco-Roman wrestling fans.
  6. Mein Herz brennt when you’re kicking the fuck out of a sheet of corrugated iron for no reason in the dark.
  7. Reise, Reise when you’re lifting heavy weights and making sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger passing a stubborn stool.
  8. Benzin when you’ve just rented a wrecking ball and you’re about to end an argument with an annoying neighbour.
  9. Rammstein when you’ve been asked to join Rammstein and need to learn their setlist in a hurry.

Download 2016: Day One Review

The A-Z of Rammstein

Rammstein: "They Drank And Flagellated Themselves, The Blood's Real."

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.