Don’t dream of a white Christmas. Get yer cossie on, slap on the factor 50, choose your ultimate Xmas beach party soundtrack and get your playlist made into a radio show!
TeamRock has teamed up with EMP for the 12 Playlists of Xmas. We’re posting Xmas/End of Year playlists – and asking you to submit your playlists. The best 12 will be played once a day in the build up to Xmas and win a TeamRock+ subscription. The details for how to enter are at the bottom of this post.
Here’s the latest from our Australian correspondent…
Australia was custom built for and by outsiders, but if ever you needed evidence of our outsider status from the rest of the world, consider every bastard Xmas song ever written.
Sleigh bells ringing, children singing, snow up to your foo-foo and Santa sweating his bollocks off in a big red suit and furry hat.
Like, Hello? McFly?
In Australia we do things differently and this year, wherever you are in the world, you can too. Forget the cocking turkey and stuffing. Leave the brussel sprouts alone. This year, celebrate Xmas the Aussie way and let our Ultimate Australian Xmas Beach Party Barbecue Playlist be your soundtrack.
1. Live It Up – Airbourne
2. Riff Raff – AC/DC
Start as you mean to go on. The Airbourne track takes off like a jet fighter and Riff Raff is the perfect soundtrack to cans popping and bottles clinking. There are quite a few AC/DC tracks in this list. Of course there are, mate.
3. Kissin’ Cousins – The Saints
Yeah, The Saints did greater songs. (I’m) Stranded is a given. But we’re talking Aussie Xmas Beach Party BBQ here and nothing they did, apart from maybe their version of River Deep, Mountain High, is quite as stupidly fun as this low-slung sneer through one of Elvis Presley’s B-movie belters.
**4. Rock ‘n’ Roll Outlaw – Rose Tattoo
**The alternative national anthem.
5. Joker and the Thief – Wolfmother
So far, so 70s, right? Come with us, then, as we venture bravely forth into the 00s with a song that sounds like, um, it was recorded by a particularly speed-fuelled Black Sabbath in 1974.
6. Horror Movie – Skyhooks
The rules of predictable playlisting decree that this song can only be included in Hallowe’en playlists. To be honest, we’d much rather have their 1978 classic Why Dontcha All Get Fucked, but it’s Xmas and you might have grandma there. Actually, fuck it: she wont be able to hear it anyway. We’ll stick that in too.
7. Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again (Live) – The Angels
8. The Unguarded Moment – The Church
9. Eagle Rock – Daddy Cool
**10. Why Dontcha All Get Fucked – Skyhooks
Turns out grandma has brand new hearing aids – and she fucking loves this song. That could’ve been awkward.
11. Are You Gonna Be My Girl – Jet
Actually this song doesn’t sound the same to us anymore without the brass section from Jona Lewis’s Stop The Cavalry playing over the breakdown. Download that one here.
12. Thunderstruck – AC/DC
13. Bad Boy for Love – Rose Tattoo
**14. By the Sword (feat. Andrew Stockdale) – Slash
**Yeah, we know Slash isn’t Australian, genius. But Andrew Stockdale is and this is one of his greatest moments.
**15. Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield
**You’re gonna have children and women at this party and, just for a second, you’re going to think about playing Torn by Natalie Imbruglia or Down Under by Men At Work. The words “crowd pleasers” will flash through your head. Ignore those words – those words are Satan himself and will make you look like a total dag. Play this instead.
16. Help Is On Its Way – Little River Band
17. Elephant – Tame Impala
**18. Deanna – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
**Inviting Ol’ Captain Chuckles here to your barbie, even if he’s just on your playlist, could be disastrous. Songs about strangling the missus or going to the electric chair might sound awesome on your headphones but will piss on your chips at a Xmas Barbie scenario. Deanna – the dark tale of a house-breaking gun-toting childhood friend of Cave’s – swings like Them’s Gloria. You might get away with it.
**19. You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC
**It’s very hard to get any sleep when there’s a Geordie screeching in your ear. “Ye alreet, kiddaaaaa?”
20. Get Free – The Vines
21. Elvis’ Flaming Star – Pond
22. Is This How You Feel? – The Preatures
23. I Touch Myself – Divinyls
Crank this up, by all means. But if any elderly guests start giving your mates the eye during the chorus, turn it off immediately and offer group counselling. Oh, for about forever.
24. New Sensation – INXS
25. River Deep Mountain High – The Saints
26. Odd One – Sick Puppies
27. Freak – Silverchair
That opening riff has got more crunch than that salad that’s wilting in the heat. Who has salad anyway? Get out. And take your homemade vinaigrette with you.
28. Jailbreak – AC/DC
29. (Baby I’ve Got You) On My Mind – Powderfinger
30. Aloha Steve and Danno – Radio Birdman
31. Slave Girl (live) – Lime Spiders
32. Black Betty (Edit) – Spiderbait
It might be the tinnies talking, but doesn’t electric banjo really make a song? Bam-ba-lam.
33. It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll) – AC/DC
This is absolutely true. When we went to our mate’s block of flats last week, he took the lift the 20th floor. We rock’n’rolled our way up. It took ages and had to rest halfway. Brett got a stitch after shotgunning his last VB. The dill.
34. Surfin’ On My Face – Hard-Ons
35. Prisoner of Society – The Living End
So, you’re having a good time. Everyone’s getting on. Why not stick this on at full volume and watch all your worldly possessions get trashed within a minute. Might be worth getting your big mate to stand in front of the stereo, though.
36. Fucken Awesome – Spiderbait
37. Starlight – Tonight Alive
38. We Are – Karnivool
It’s not said that often, but barbies and prog rock go together, like beer and another beer.
39. Sunrise (Come My Way) – Buffalo
40. Highway to Hell – AC/DC
“Hey, mamma, look at me… I’m on the way to the promised land…” And by promised land, we mean the bottle shop for more booze… And some crisps.
Think you can do better? TeamRock Radio, in association with EMP, want to turn your Xmas playlists into radio shows. What tracks do you think would make the perfect Xmas Soundtrack? Enter your tracks here for a chance of winning TeamRock+ membership.
Sign up for the EMP catalogue here.