Oli Sykes admits: ‘I wanted to die’

Bring Me The Horizon frontman Oli Sykes has admitted he wanted to die while he was addicted to ketamine.

He opened up on his drugs hell in 2015, announcing at an awards ceremony that he’d been hooked for years prior to the release of 2013 album Sempiternal.

Now Sykes tells Alternative Press: “My issues stemmed from the fact that I was trying so hard to fight against what people were saying about me. I wasn’t what people were saying I was. But I wasn’t a good person either. I felt so guilty about who I was.”

He calls ketamine a “scummy drug,” saying it disconnected his mind from his body, and adds: “It took my ego away. It took away who I was. I nearly killed myself. I just didn’t care whether I lived or not.

“I was very close – I wanted to die.”

Despite accepting that a month in rehab helped him, the Sykes says: “I didn’t believe the stuff they told me. They tell you ‘it’s a disease,’ but that’s bollocks. It’s not a disease. It’s a self-inflicted problem. It’s offensive to people with diseases to claim addiction is a disease.

“They said it would be a struggle every day, that you’re an addict for the rest of your life. It’s all bollocks. I’ve never looked back since I got clean.”

Bring Me The Horizon release fifth album That’s The Spirit on September 11, and head out on a European tour in November.

Scott Munro
Louder e-commerce editor

Scott has spent more than 30 years in newspapers and magazines as an editor, production editor, sub-editor, designer, writer and reviewer. After initially joining our news desk in the summer of 2014, he moved to the e-commerce team full-time in 2020. He maintains Louder’s buyer’s guides, scouts out the best deals for music fans and reviews headphones, speakers, books and more. He's written more than 11,000 articles across Louder, Classic Rock, Metal Hammer and Prog and has previous written for publications including IGN, the Sunday Mirror, Daily Record and The Herald covering everything from daily news and weekly features, to video games, travel and whisky. Scott grew up listening to rock and prog, cutting his teeth on bands such as Marillion and Magnum before his focus shifted to alternative and post-punk in the late 80s. His favourite bands are Fields Of The Nephilim, The Cure, New Model Army, All About Eve, The Mission, Ned's Atomic Dustbin and Drab Majesty, but he also still has a deep love of Rush.