Tweet Surrender

There are over 3,500,000,000 tweets posted every week. While we didn’t get around to reading all of them, we reckon that these are the best 10 posts of the past seven days.

We don’t know how he’ll top this party tip. But a banana is “an edible fruit, botanically a berry, produced by several kinds of large herbaceous flowering plants in the genus Musa”. Not a vegetable. Thanks Wikipedia!

A whole ounce! Best get some new trousers…

A lesson to be learned for us all. Be safe. Be sensible. Don’t listen to music idly, unless you want Bono in your ear.

A nice tribute to the actor who passed away this weekend, following a battle with cancer. Taylor’s character in the 1983 film Easy Money inspired some of the lyrics in their rap metal anthem, I’m The Man.

The second question is normally, ‘what’s with those silver socks?’.

We just wanted to say hello. Those big American cars are hard to steer, eh?

Oh, well this is awkward. Can you un-PayPal someone? We thought the request for thousands of dollars to build a kitten theme park was a bit weird.

Mac is very wise. And Glenn, if we had a talking dog, we’d let them call the shots, to be honest.

We feel for the Mogwai guitarist. We spent all year in the UK and Charlie Brooker’s show was still surreal. Bit depressing, too, come to think of it.

The former My Chemical Romance bassist can barely hide his contempt for the worst invention ever. Don’t worry mate, it’ll pass.

Simon Young

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.