The 20 Worst Album Titles Ever

We're hugely excited about the prospect of a new AC/DC album, but let's be frank, Rock or Bust is a truly shit album title. Which got us thinking about other equally rubbish album titles. Without further ado then, here's our list of the 20 worst...

20. REO Speedwagon You Can Tune A Piano But You Can’t Tune A Fish

19. Bring Me The Horizon_ There Is A Hell Believe Me I’ve Seen It, There Is A Heaven Let’s Keep It A Secret_

18. Public Enemy How You Sell Soul To A Soulless People Who Sold Their Soul???

17. Carpathian Forest Fuck You All!!!! Caput tuum in ano est

16. George Clinton Hey, Man, Smell My Finger

15. Van Halen OU812

14. Titan A Raining Sun of Light and Love For You and You and You

13. Pete Townshend All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes

12. REO Speedwagon The Earth, a Small Man, His Dog and a Chicken

11. Fall Out Boy Fall Out Boy’s Evening Out with Your Girlfriend

10. Chumbawumba The Boy Bands Have Won, and All The Copyists and The Tribute Bands and The TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture To Be Shaped By Mimicry, Whether From Lack Of Ideas Or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try To Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don’t Just Regurgitate Creative History, Or Hold Art And Music And Literature As Fixed, Untouchable And Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try To ‘Guard’ Any Particular Form Of Music Are, Like The Copyists And Manufactured Bands, Doing It The Worst Disservice, Because The Only Thing That You Can Do To Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It’s Over, Then It’s Done, and The Boy Bands Have Won

9. Tyrannosaurus Rex My People Were Fair and Had Sky in Their Hair… But Now They’re Content to Wear Stars on Their Brows

8. Bow Wow Wow See Jungle! See Jungle! Go Join Your Gang, Yeah! City All Over, Go Ape Crazy!

7. Soulwax Most of the Remixes we’ve made for other people over the years except for the one for Einstürzende Neubauten because we lost it and a few we didn’t think sounded good enough or just didn’t fit in length-wise, but including some that are hard to find because either people forgot about them or simply because they haven’t been released yet, a few we really love, one we think is just ok, some we did for free, some we did for money, some for ourselves without permission and some for friends as swaps but never on time and always at our studio in Ghent

6. King Kurt Big Cock

5. Deep Purple Bananas

4. Helloween Pink Bubbles Go Ape

3. Limp Bizkit Chococolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water

2. Scorpions Virgin Killer

1. Fiona Apple When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might so When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right

Think you can do worse? Let us know…

Paul Brannigan
Contributing Editor, Louder

A music writer since 1993, formerly Editor of Kerrang! and Planet Rock magazine (RIP), Paul Brannigan is a Contributing Editor to Louder. Having previously written books on Lemmy, Dave Grohl (the Sunday Times best-seller This Is A Call) and Metallica (Birth School Metallica Death, co-authored with Ian Winwood), his Eddie Van Halen biography (Eruption in the UK, Unchained in the US) emerged in 2021. He has written for Rolling Stone, Mojo and Q, hung out with Fugazi at Dischord House, flown on Ozzy Osbourne's private jet, played Angus Young's Gibson SG, and interviewed everyone from Aerosmith and Beastie Boys to Young Gods and ZZ Top. Brannigan lives in North London and supports The Arsenal.