Blog: Why Mike Patton is the Master of the Universe

Originality is rare nowadays. Whether it be the latest iPhone, a new Call Of Duty game or a soulless re-hashing of a film franchise that wasn't that great in the first place, everything seems to have been done before. So when Faith No More announced possible plans for new material, it felt like a cause for celebration – Mike Patton is a genuine innovator, and never one to repeat himself. In anticipation, we decided to compile a few videos of Mike Patton being, well, Mike Patton.

HE MAKES POP SONGS SOUND INCREDIBLE

There’s been so many crap cover versions of pop songs by metal bands. So, so many. But when Faith No More burst into a brief rendition of Lady Gaga’s Poker Face during their comeback gig at Download 2009, jaws dropped and breaches were copiously soiled. Just listen to that scatting section!

HE’S A MASTER OF THE ‘AWKARD INTERVIEW’

Not a man overly enamoured with music industry promotional chores, Patton hasn’t given a single interview about FNM since the band reformed. This is a shame, for he has form in enlivening interviews by providing ludicrous answers to some of the more mundane questions posed. Here, on MTV’s Headbanger’s Ball, he can be seen describing the music of Faith No More as ‘death metal’…

HE’S PARTICULARLY GOOD AT SPOTTING FOOLS. AND HUMILIATING THEM.

Mike Patton is not a man to suffer fools gladly. In this frankly hideous interview, conducted for idiot-magnet 1990’s Channel 4 ‘yoof’ TV show The Word, hapless host Terry Christian gets former FNM guitarist ‘Big Sick Ugly’ Jim Martin’s name wrong. Patton promptly showers the guy in water. There then follows one of the most excruciatingly poor interviews of all time. Note to younger readers: all interviews on The Word were this bad.

HE CAN TRANSFORM STAGE DIVING INTO AN ART FORM

We’ve all seen singers at festivals go down to the front row to high five the audience. The more adventurous ones even lean into the crowd and sing. Wow. Patton clearly didn’t get the Singers’ Union safety memo, as he can be seen here literally hurling himself from the top of an amp during a Faith No More gig, before kicking and screaming aloft a sea of punters. Arjen Robben would be proud.

HE MAKES REALLY STRANGE NOISES

In the context of a song, Patton is renowned for making a weird squawk or two. However, in this handy compilation video, all of his vocal nuances from one concert are packed into a single, jaw-dropping clip. Is he trying to be a dog? Is he doing an impersonation of the creatures from I Am Legend? (note: He actually did voice those creatures…) Or is he just really, really angry? Only Patton knows.

HE BRINGS EVERYONE TO THE PARTY. WHETHER THEY WANT TO COME OR NOT.

God loves a trier. So hats off to Patton here, for trying to involve a security guy at Brixton Academy in the show, even when it’s all to obvious that the gent in question isn’t actually super keen to sing a Commodores song with him. Even when Patton cheerily wraps an arm around his throat. But wait! Triumph! See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Alec Chillingworth
Writer

Alec is a longtime contributor with first-class BA Honours in English with Creative Writing, and has worked for Metal Hammer since 2014. Over the years, he's written for Noisey, Stereoboard, uDiscoverMusic, and the good ship Hammer, interviewing major bands like Slipknot, Rammstein, and Tenacious D (plus some black metal bands your cool uncle might know). He's read Ulysses thrice, and it got worse each time.