Various Artists: Ragnarok Juletide

If Vikings celebrated Xmas, it probably wouldn’t sound like this

TODO alt text

It’s not easy being a metalhead at Xmas, having to be all festive and endure all sorts of crap. Mariah Carey, candy canes, Xmas jumpers that aren’t that Slayer one (which probably sold out before you got one because life sucks) = not metal.

Luckily the folks who brought you Raskasta Joulua (‘Heavy Christmas’) and Raskaampaa Joulua (‘Heavier Christmas’) have got your back with a 100 per cent unironic album of Xmas songs sung by the likes of Tony Kakko (Sonata Arctica), Elize Ryd (Amaranthe) and Marco Hietala (Nightwish).

There aren’t enough words to describe how bizarre and unnecessary Ragnarok Juletide is, but given the Finns’ love of Xmas and the novelty value of metal-ising things that don’t need to be metal-ised, it’s not that surprising that this exists.

Basically, if you love Finnish power metal, then of course you will love this, so stick it on at your mum’s house and make your family unhappy for 50 minutes. Best Xmas ever./o:p