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Flea bites Sex Pistol John Lydon’s penis

John Lydon
(Image credit: Paul Heartfield)

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We don’t normally kick off the week by quoting Latin on this website, but sometimes, needs must. The above phrase translates as ‘He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas’, implying that one must be mindful of the company one keeps, for fear of attracting disreputable hangers-on. It appears that this old maxim can also be applied to squirrels, as Sex Pistols frontman John Lydon recently found to his cost, while hanging out with some squirrels near his Venice Beach, Los Angeles home.

Donald Trump-loving Lydon’s bonding session with the nut-chomping rodents unfortunately attracted the attention of small parasitic bugs, which have left itchy bites all over his body, including one on his er, ‘sex pistol‘.

“I looked down there this morning at my willy and there's a fucking flea bite on it,’ Lydon revealed. “And there's another one on the inside of my leg.”

Lydon, 64, has apparently smothered himself in Vaseline to ease his pain, and has asked that no blame be attached to “the poor squirrels.”

“The bites, wow, last night was murder because of it,” he reveals. “The itching too. It's such a poxy thing to get caught out on. The only way around it, because I'm not going to blame the poor little squirrels, is to Vaseline my legs.

“I just hope they don't get the wrong idea.”

In his latest book, I Could Be Wrong, I Could Be Right, Lydon spoke warmly of his friendship with Venice Beach squirrel squads.

“I'm determined to keep my squirrel friends independent, y'know,” he wrote. “There's no petting. If they want to nudge up that's fine, but I know it's for a peanut and not because I'm lovely.”

“Wow, do they love me for [the food I buy for them]. I'm definitely spending a lot of money on these little fuckers.”

All at Louder extend our sympathies to Mr Lydon at this difficult time.