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So who cycled a few miles just for a Christmas pasty?

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Thanks Corey. Now we have a greater understanding of where all that vitriol comes from – the humble shoelace.

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We never studied Sports Science at college, but we’re guessing that the LostAlone frontman would have to cycle more than a ‘good few miles’ to burn that pasty off. Mind you, Steven owns a Monsters, Inc. jacket meant for a large child, so we doubt he’ll be piling on the pounds any time soon.

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It’s a shame Sons Of Anarchy has ended. We’d have loved to have seen Portnoy as the leader of a rival biker gang who cruise the Californian highways on fold-up bikes.

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Klang! Klang! That, friends, is the sound of two names being dropped.

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Attempting the banker’s post-Christmas party look? Nailed it, mate.

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Yeah, no problem, Mikey. We’ll just go back to the 1990s and dig out a blank VHS tape for you.

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This 11-piece collective stood out from the prog crowd by only penning lyrics in binary. Have you heard the song that goes, ‘01010111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110010 01100100 01110011’? It’s a real tearjerker.

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Remind us not to listen to the demos on the bus, then. We hate it when that happens.

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Austin Dickinson, dropping truth bombs like a trigger-happy fighter pilot swooping over Twitterland.

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And now we know what ‘trailblazing’ is. Thanks Hayley. We’re sure the recent Billboard Trailblazer award wasn’t for going to the toilet.

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.