"I got caught on a ceiling fan during an orgy": the confessions of Dave Wyndorf

Dave Wyndorf from Monster Magnet
(Image: © Getty)

This Space Lord is no longer doping his way to infinity, but he’s still searching for the temple of his dreams. May we present Monster Magnet’s Dave Wyndorf!

What’s the worst fight you’ve ever been in?

“I was in my first band, Shrapnel, and I went to the band’s dressing room and I mouthed off to a couple of bouncers and they beat me up. I felt like a ping pong ball going between these three guys – they pummelled me so much that my head looked like an asteroid and all ’cos I opened my big mouth. It doesn’t matter who you are you can always get the Danzig punch – you’ve seen that Danzig video, right?”

Oh yes. You’ve toured with Danzig – doesn’t he have a rule that support bands can’t make eye contact?

“Oh yeah! It was in the contract. It was like playing with Elvis Presley or something. I don’t know what fucking planet those guys are coming from, but I thought it was cool. I could see why he wouldn’t want to look anybody in the eye – there are lots of times I don’t want to look people in the eye!”

What about your tour with Marilyn Manson?

“Touring with Manson was awesome – like Aerosmith they walked it like they talked it. We’re talking Led Zeppelin legendary touring decadence. I loved it. And they were fantastic. They must have burned up 10 grand a night in damages alone. TVs out the window, everything destroyed… I’d been there before but I didn’t have that kind of money, and I remember Manson saying, ‘Do you want to smash something up? It’s on me?’”

What’s the most unusual thing you’ve done on tour?

“I remember having some games with some girlfriends of mine. They liked to be kidnapped so I’d hire two hotel rooms, go to where they were and wait outside. Then I’d blindfold them, tie them up, throw them into the trunk and drive to the other place 20 miles away. I mean, this was their choice!”

What’s the strangest experience you had with a fan?

“Jesus Christ, there are just so many! Well, I had lots of stalkers. And then I had sex with a stalker, and that’s when it goes bad. I didn’t know it was her… I’d only met her once before and she went under a different name. To tell you the truth I beheaded her and buried her in a shallow grave outside San Francisco… Joking!

What was the moment you realised you’d made it as a rock star?

“When people started calling me ‘Mister’ I realised I was kind of in. I’ve never felt that comfortable with it though – I’ve always preferred to be a man of rock, rather than a rock star.”

What’s your worst personal habit?

“Smoking everywhere, and forgetting it’s illegal. Lighting up in elevators, planes… I really need to do something about that.”

What’s your least favourite drug?

“I’m not really into drugs anymore – they failed me. I guess it’d be the drug that got me into the most trouble; benzodiazepines. That stuff just runs havoc with your nervous system. Anything that feels that good, there has to be something wrong with it. You’re cheating. They impair your judgement and eventually make you suicidal. All that worry that they ease goes to the back of your brain like a computer folder and piles up.”

What was Courtney Love like to spend time with?

“She was everything you’d expect and more. She was like a living cartoon. Loud, scatter-brained, demanding and thoroughly entertaining. Like, ‘Waaah, waaah, waaah!’ Demanding stuff: ‘I want this, I want that, I want everything!’ A total rich diva. I don’t consider her a friend – how can a seagull on the beach be friends with a tsunami?”

Your bassist was once arrested for injuring a member of the crowd. Was that your most stressful show ever?

“Yeah, that was bad. But I remember once at a small German gig the security had beaten someone up – evidently close to death – and the crowd was convinced that I had ordered the beating up personally. I was surrounded by angry Germans – I felt like it was 1938.”

What’s been your worst ideas?

“Too many to count. My mind has a parade of bad ideas marching down Alexander Plaza like a Nuremberg Rally of Bad Ideas. One of them was standing up during an orgy on the bed, rearing my head back like a lion, but not noticing the ceiling fan, and getting my hair caught. I was just hanging, with girls laughing at me… naked. Horrible. I guess that’s my most embarrassing moment too.”

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