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Hear Metallica read savage one-star reviews of The Black Album

Metallica reading reviews
(Image credit: Jimmy Kimmel Live)

Are Metallica hogging the limelight right now? No. Maybe. Possibly. But who cares? It's the 30th anniversary of their seminal 1991 Black Album, and the world hasn't finished celebrating yet. 

Off the back of their charity covers album release, The Metallica Blacklist, and their Black Album reissue, Metallica have been making a variety of appearances on late night television, including The Howard Stern Show (where Elton John makes frontman James Hetfield cry) and most recently, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!.

On the latter programme, Metallica read out a list of savage one-star reviews of the record, which had appeared on the album's Amazon page. 

The first comment, titled "The Black Album? I call it The Shitty Album!", reads "This is by far one of the most loathsome crimes ever committed against music". Surprisingly unfazed – and clearly seeing the humour of the situation – drummer Lars Ulrich replies, "Thank you for sharing that opinion". 

Guitarist Kirk Hammett then continues the passage, and reads "Face it people, this album sucks. Anybody who thinks this horrible, atrocious, self-titled suck-o-rama CD is worth four or five stars must be braindead from smoking crack." At this point, frontman James Hetfield lets out a stifled giggle, obviously appreciating the level of creative thinking put in to writing such a colourful review.

To the amusement of the band, another review reads the title "This album sucks, sad but true!", followed by the statement "I bought this when it came out I was horrified when I listened to it, I threw it off a bridge and watched a truck smash it". Humans are fascinating creatures, aren't they? Clearly this listener hadn't thought to keep a receipt. 

Another review simply repeats "METALLICA SUCKS" numerous times before signing off with "METALLICA ARE JUNK". Top marks for dedication, less for creativity. 

For the full video, check it out below:

Liz Scarlett
Liz Scarlett

Liz works on keeping the Louder sites up to date with the latest news from the world of rock and metal. Prior to joining Louder as a full time staff writer, she completed a Diploma with the National Council for the Training of Journalists and received a First Class Honours Degree in Popular Music Journalism. She enjoys writing about anything from neo-glam rock to stoner, doom and progressive metal, and loves celebrating women in music. '10 bands that rip off Black Sabbath but get away with it' is her favourite article she's written with Louder so far. When not writing, Liz enjoys various creative endeavours such as graphic design, as well as reading about rock’n’roll history, art and magic.