Tweet Surrender

Plus, find out who had his jeans ruined by a pet and who had Twitter remorse following a boozy night out. It’s all here, in this week’s Tweet Surrender…

After earning an estimated $200 million from last night’s boxing match, Floyd Mayweather could buy 25,405,768 large doner kebabs in Crewe. He probably won’t, though.

This week, the Smashing Pumpkins frontman announced he was joining TNA Impact Wrestling and thousands of fans imagined what he’d look like in a spangly leotard. Turns out he’s joined the creative team, so we won’t see him performing a sweet suplex anytime soon. Read comedian Jim Smallman’s thoughts about the relationship between rock and wrestling here.

Looks like the Gnedby shelving units caught someone’s eye at Ikea. If he’d gone for the Billy bookshelf, he would’ve had more space for his comics. Just a tip, there.

According to our calculations, you’d need to walk 162 minutes to burn off the calories from a Patrick Stump.

In the UK, it’s illegal to deface currency. So this would make KISS a punk band now.

Remember: friends don’t let drunk friends tweet.

Even the most egotistical rock star wouldn’t refer to themselves in the third person twice in the same sentence. Elmo probably wears sunglasses at night, too.

On behalf of everyone within five-mile radius, thank you. No, seriously.

Look at that bird’s face. It couldn’t give a toss about Austin Dickinson’s jeans. Feathery thug life.

If there’s a punk remake of Zoolander, we reckon Frank would make a perfect Derek. But one who can read good.

Simon Young

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.