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Tweet Surrender

Plus, find out who had his jeans ruined by a pet and who had Twitter remorse following a boozy night out. It’s all here, in this week’s Tweet Surrender…

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After earning an estimated $200 million from last night’s boxing match, Floyd Mayweather could buy 25,405,768 large doner kebabs in Crewe. He probably won’t, though.

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This week, the Smashing Pumpkins frontman announced he was joining TNA Impact Wrestling and thousands of fans imagined what he’d look like in a spangly leotard. Turns out he’s joined the creative team, so we won’t see him performing a sweet suplex anytime soon. Read comedian Jim Smallman’s thoughts about the relationship between rock and wrestling here.

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Looks like the Gnedby shelving units caught someone’s eye at Ikea. If he’d gone for the Billy bookshelf, he would’ve had more space for his comics. Just a tip, there.

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According to our calculations, you’d need to walk 162 minutes to burn off the calories from a Patrick Stump.

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In the UK, it’s illegal to deface currency. So this would make KISS a punk band now.

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Remember: friends don’t let drunk friends tweet.

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Even the most egotistical rock star wouldn’t refer to themselves in the third person twice in the same sentence. Elmo probably wears sunglasses at night, too.

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On behalf of everyone within five-mile radius, thank you. No, seriously.

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Look at that bird’s face. It couldn’t give a toss about Austin Dickinson’s jeans. Feathery thug life.

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If there’s a punk remake of Zoolander, we reckon Frank would make a perfect Derek. But one who can read good.