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Tweet Surrender

This week’s Tweet Surrender sees the rock world praise hard-working laundry proprietors, recoil from flatulent drivers and brag about gammon.

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Imagine washing a touring rock drummer’s sack of dirty pants. Those people at the Fluff & Fold laundromat deserve a bloody medal.

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Scroll through Twitter or even open your window and listen to the people outside and you’ll notice that everyone has an opinion on Jared Leto playing The Joker – whose look was revealed by director David Ayer this week. No-one, however, had a comment as cutting as US comedy writer Matt Oswalt. You’ve got to laugh, eh?

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He should try getting the night bus in London. It sounds like a jazz band warming up.

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Some of us would call that a free top-up. Don’t worry Saturday, we would appreciate your drippy gesture.

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Birds have no manners, have they?

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Can you think of any other musicians who’d take it upon themselves to explore the percussive qualities of a galloping horse? We would suggest hitting two coconut shells together, but we get the feeling we’d be laughed out of Derby.

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So that’s what happened to Qualcast Mutilator. Let’s hope the Lawnmower Deth frontman remembered to cover the gammon joint with cold water and left it to soak for 24 hours. A little tip for you there. Unless you like chewy salt.

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The No Devotion guitarist was one of many to sarcastically respond to the news that Emily Dolan left the band, seemingly moments after joining.

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We thought the Toast Of London star had namechecked the Stourbridge doomsters for a second, but it was something to do with an actual witchfinder who’d done well for themselves. In other news, Matt was announced as support to Steven Wilson at his Albert Hall show later this year.

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We have no idea, but we’ve heard it’s guaranteed to blow your mind. Anytime.

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.