Tweet Surrender

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Over 3,500,000,000 tweets are sent every week. Just count them if you don’t believe us. We ran a fine comb through the lot to bring you the most insightful and weirdest posts of the last seven days. First up, let’s have a glimpse into the glamorous life of Paramore vocalist, Hayley Williams.

Well, that’s lovely. If our memory serves us, Alf is her pet dog. We hope. Anyway, don’t they have bins in America?

Even though this was clearly tweeted in a breathless rush, let’s remember the words of Viserys Targaryen, who once said: “The breath of the greatest dragon forged the Iron Throne…the swords of the vanquished, a thousand of them, melted together like so many candles… all for this man’s selfie.”

When musicians talk loudly and often of sacrifice and hardship, Blitz Kids’ Jono Yates has boiled it down to the bare bones with one wretched tweet.

That’s weird. We’d hate that.

90 days of diet and exercise? We think your account was hacked by a peckish astronaut or something.

Kryptonite only exists in the world of DC comics, Pete. That said, our Kryptonite is… people… getting… comic facts… wrong.

Sage advice from the South Shields song machine, but we’re struggling to think of how we’d describe a chance meeting with Tom Petty after he’s been to the gym for a lengthy workout.

We’d love to hear Joe Perry’s bluesy take on Testament’s Over The Wall. What were those guitars in for, though?

We’ll reserve judgement on Tidal for now, but since when did Jay Z become a mayor?

For some unknown reason, this tweet slipped us by last week. But we didn’t know Lita was a fan of Battlestar Galactica too. Live long and prosper and all that.