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Tweet Surrender

Over 3,500,000,000 tweets are sent every week. Just count them if you don’t believe us. We ran a fine comb through the lot to bring you the most insightful and weirdest posts of the last seven days. First up, let’s have a glimpse into the glamorous life of Paramore vocalist, Hayley Williams.

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Well, that’s lovely. If our memory serves us, Alf is her pet dog. We hope. Anyway, don’t they have bins in America?

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Even though this was clearly tweeted in a breathless rush, let’s remember the words of Viserys Targaryen, who once said: “The breath of the greatest dragon forged the Iron Throne…the swords of the vanquished, a thousand of them, melted together like so many candles… all for this man’s selfie.”

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When musicians talk loudly and often of sacrifice and hardship, Blitz Kids’ Jono Yates has boiled it down to the bare bones with one wretched tweet.

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That’s weird. We’d hate that.

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90 days of diet and exercise? We think your account was hacked by a peckish astronaut or something.

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Kryptonite only exists in the world of DC comics, Pete. That said, our Kryptonite is… people… getting… comic facts… wrong.

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Sage advice from the South Shields song machine, but we’re struggling to think of how we’d describe a chance meeting with Tom Petty after he’s been to the gym for a lengthy workout.

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We’d love to hear Joe Perry’s bluesy take on Testament’s Over The Wall. What were those guitars in for, though?

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We’ll reserve judgement on Tidal for now, but since when did Jay Z become a mayor?

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For some unknown reason, this tweet slipped us by last week. But we didn’t know Lita was a fan of Battlestar Galactica too. Live long and prosper and all that.