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Tweet Surrender

File some of these tweets under ‘Too Much Information’…

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We’re guessing that the Don Broco frontman has opened all the windows on his advent calendar and eaten the lot. We know your game, son.

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This writer has seen The Babadook but definitely didn’t have nightmares. He just accidentally left the lights on and someone must have poured some water on his bed while he slept. When he finds out who it was, ooh, he’s going to have words.

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Nothing a bucket of coffee won’t fix, Pete.

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It’s worth pointing out that Frank is a father to twin girls and a two-year old son called Miles. No-one in their thirties wears Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pyjamas, right?

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Don’t do it, Keith. There’s no excuse for acid washed jeans, unless you’re an undercover cop in a straight-to-video 80s crime flick.

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Too late. Did you keep the receipt?

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Let’s hope it gets commissioned and goes on straight after Carp Diem on The Fishing Channel.

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You could always turn them inside out and wear them back to front. Or – and this might sound daft, but stick with it – you could maybe visit the launderette? Life hacks? You’re welcome.

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Well, we would, but we’ve got loads of Christmas shopping to do before lying awake in the dark pondering our existence.

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.