It's St Andrew’s Day the day, apparently – tho naebody in Scotland gies a flying’ wan aboot St Andrew or his fuckin ‘day’. Whit St Andrews Day means, tae onybody Scottish who works in the music media, is folk gawn oan about a) how shite Scottish bands ur or b) aw the shite Scottish bands they’ve been tae see o’er the years.
So yer furst gig wuz Deacon Blue, wuz it? That’s your fault, pal.
Lost yer virginity tae a Hue & Cry song? Ah pity you, ya trumpet.
Hud a amazing New Year singing 500 Miles by the Proclaimers – you an everywan else, ya mad rocket.
While you wur listening tae aw that pish, the Scottish underground wiz slowly dismantling rock music and building a new wan. A funnier, artier, madder and probably half-cut version, made in Scotland fae girders – and whutever else we fun lying aboot.
Here then, on Spotify and Apple Music, is what a real Scottish music playlist should sound like. Nae bollocks.