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Sex: Kid Rock

What is it about strippers that appeals?

I don’t know if it’s the strippers, it’s just that I love strip clubs. When you get recognised a lot you can’t go into a regular pub without people screaming “My name is…” into your ear all night. But if you go to a strip club the worst thing that happens is that girls come up and talk to you with no shirts on, and guys don’t really come up and bother you because they’re trying to be cool in front of the girls. It’s a good place to listen to music, have a few drinks and hang out.

Did you have a thing for models?

I’ve gotta thing for everything, but really I’m just following the handbook. I got the rock’n’roll handbook: wear dark sunglasses, throw a TV out window, get high once in a while, make some good tunes, and by chapter eight you come to ‘Get supermodel girlfriend’. I just followed the rules, man, I didn’t make ’em up.

Why do girls want you to fondle their breasts for photos?

Why do kids like Mickey Mouse? I don’t know. I always say that when I’d sold a hundred thousand records I was just an average looking guy, but after selling thirteen million records I was dead sexy.

Ever been asked to fondle a guy?

No. And if I did I’d probably give him a good crack across the jaw – after I was done pulling my foot out of his ass.

You say you’re an excellent fuck. So do you have any secrets or tips on improving one’s technique?

You know, I’m not bad. I guess that practice makes perfect. Here’s the big secret: be nice. They said it best in that movie Colours, where Sean Penn says to Robert Duvall: “What do you say we run down and fuck one of them cows?” And Robert Duvall goes: “What do you say we walk down and fuck ’em all.”

Do you give as well as receive oral sex?

Absolutely. There ain’t nothing like getting that tongue working between them big greasy thighs and make a girl sing like Joe Walsh’s talk-box on Rocky Mountain Way.

Who was your craziest fan or stalker?

Man, we’ve got some kooks and I see some pretty disrupting shit. This one time we got this videotape from this girl who had her infant daughter standing around in a crib with her bikini top on jumping around to Bawitdaba with my picture all over the walls. And she was saying how she was gonna raise my son, and we were meant to be together and stuff. Then we got boxes of letters from another girl – I mean boxes. She was sending me pictures of her family, whole rolls of film, and the letters were kind of funny.

Classic Rock’s Reviews Editor for the last 19 years, Ian stapled his first fanzine in 1977. Since misspending his youth by way of ‘research’ his work has also appeared in such publications as Metal Hammer, Prog, NME, Uncut, Kerrang!, VOX, The Face, The Guardian, Total Guitar, Guitarist, Electronic Sound, Record Collector and across the internet. Permanently buried under mountains of recorded media, ears ringing from a lifetime of gigs, he enjoys nothing more than recreationally throttling a guitar and following a baptism of punk fire has played in bands for 45 years, releasing recordings via Esoteric Antenna and Cleopatra Records.