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Tweet Surrender

Here’s 10 tweets that stood out like beacons in a world of foggy nonsense…

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After Valentine’s Day, Shrove Tuesday – also known as ‘Pancake Day’ to batter-loving heathens – is the most exciting day of February. We’re pretty sure the Lower Than Atlantis frontman has got his wires crossed, though.

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We can feel Lzzy’s cheeks burn with embarrassment from here. Still, she could always have a nice sideline in presenting a show on the QVC channel.

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Does the Anthrax guitarist watch Countryfile? We’d love to see him chew the fat about rural issues with John Craven. And the growing problem of zombies in agriculture. Or aaaaarghriculture, perhaps.

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Before you’re floored with ennui, you’ll be pleased to know that Dennis Lyxzén retweeted him a day or so later.

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Adult white-tails tend to have reddish-brown coats, so Mustaine may have unwittingly played host to a deer-based Megadeth cosplay convention. We can’t imagine what their hooves sound like on a fretboard, though. Probably rubbish. Harsh? Then name one famous deer guitarist.

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Yorkshire Terriers – as cute as they are – have an appalling sense of road safety and are often unable to reach the pedals. And with Paramore’s level of success, you’d expect they’d be able to get a proper driver that doesn’t feel the need to steer with their head out of the window.

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Just remember that the Against Me! vocalist recently had her whole back inked and her entire right arm tattooed black.

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Nice to see the We Are Harlot frontman make some time for his exhausted pet wolf after his recent trip to the UK.

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That’s a nice thing to say. Oh, right. Smutty tweets like this might detract from Steel Panther’s hard-hitting social commentary.

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Wes Borland, there, acting as Queen Kwong’s guitarist and driver during their recent trip to London. Driving in the capital is up there with going to a clumsy dentist and having month-long food poisoning. At least they didn’t resort to having a Yorkshire Terrier ferry them around. Check out our Queen Kwong live review here.

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.