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Pretty Maids - Kingmaker album review

Danish Maids are still cleaning our clocks after all these years

Pretty Maids Kingmaker album cover

If you just Rip Van Winkled the past 35 or so years, I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that the oceans are about to boil over and we’ll all be dead in a decade, but the good news is that Ronnie Atkins and Ken Hammer are still at the helm of Pretty Maids’ sturdy power-metal longship, and they still basically sound like they did on 1984’s landmark Red Hot And Heavy album, which is to say sorta glammy but heavy as fuck in the right places. So, even-stevens, really.

Kingmaker is the Danish metal institution’s 15th album and it’s a real bolt of lightning, regal in stride and majestic in scope, anchored by Atkins’ still-agile yelping and the crunch of Hammer’s relentless riffola.

This band are at their best when they twist all of the knobs to the right, and that’s just where they keep it here.

Came from the sky like a 747. Classic Rock’s least-reputable byline-grabber since 2003. Several decades deep into the music industry. Got fired from an early incarnation of Anal C**t after one show. 30 years later, got fired from the New York Times after one week. Likes rock and hates everything else. Still believes in Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction, against all better judgment.