Tweet Surrender

Genius puns, a nation in punk rock peril and unsettling thoughts about yoga. What could it all mean? Let’s find out in the weekly feature people are literally describing as ‘that page with the tweets’…

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Joe Bonamassa was one of the first to pay tribute to the blues icon B.B. King, who passed away on May 14, aged 89.

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According to the internet, Slovenia’s population is 2.06 million people. We’re not sure what the Trash Talk vocalist did to scare that many people, so we won’t pass comment right now.

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Common sense dictates that this would be the best idea ever. Look out for his travel guide, The Battelle Of Britain… the diet book The Battelle Of The Bulge and his sideways look at war in ancient Greece, The Battelle Of Thermopylae. The possibilities are endless.

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The Lower Than Atlantic frontman there, asking life’s big questions. For the record, we use a spork.

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It really doesn’t mate.

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It might have something to do with men in their early 40s doing yoga in the altogether, come to think of it.

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Looks like the Enter Shikari vocalist still hasn’t come to terms with the recent General Election result.

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We see what he did there. But while we’re on the subject, can we petition ITV to get Wade a cameo in the period drama? Probably best to crowbar him in as a time-traveling punk from the future on a mission to destroy the Crawley family’s best dinner plates. We don’t know. We’re just firing out ideas here.

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Where’s Hayley, then? Is she at the back? Or at the front? Nope. No idea.

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We wish the Fucked Up frontman would spill the beans. Oh, brilliant. It’s got nothing to do with nude yoga after all.

Simon Young

Born in 1976 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Simon Young has been a music journalist for over twenty years. His fanzine, Hit A Guy With Glasses, enjoyed a one-issue run before he secured a job at Kerrang! in 1999. His writing has also appeared in Classic RockMetal HammerProg, and Planet Rock. His first book, So Much For The 30 Year Plan: Therapy? — The Authorised Biography is available via Jawbone Press.