Nobody likes going to the gym. Nobody. You get sweaty, you wake up in pain the next day, you look like an absolute buffoon trying to go fast on the cross-trainer, and it’s just not fun. But do you know what is fun? Black metal.
So why not combine the two?
YouTuber RiffShop has written a black metal song about going to the gym, and just what on earth goes on in that awful building. Caked in corpsepaint and armed with an electric guitar (and sledgehammer, for some reason), our extreme metal protagonist attempts to turn himself from an “out of shape troll” into an adonis by lifting heavy things and running on the spot.
The song itself offers advice on how to make you fit and strong and “lower your number of chins,” through the power of exercise. It also goes into the gross details of gym-life, like other people’s sweaty piles and the ridiculous amount of selfies people take in the mirror there.
RiffShop also reveal that cutting out meat and only eating ice is the only tr00 way for gains in the gym.